IF YOU’RE ANY KIND OF ART NERD, you’re aware of the brouhaha stirred up by the Mauritshuis Gallery in The Hague, after it loaned out Johannes Vermeer’s “The Girl with a Pearl Earring.” Forget for the moment that she traveled only about thirty miles to join the big Vermeer blowout at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.
Ciao, bella!
People were outraged—OUTRAGED—when the Mauritshuis’ directors (who obviously have a sense of humor, unlike some people) encouraged artists to submit to an exhibition called “My Girl with a Pearl,” to vamp with the visual idea of “girl + pearl earring.”
Man with a pearl substack.
This is one girl—the whiners shrieked—who nobody is allowed to play with!
In solidarity with my fellow wiseass artists, I say: To hell with that!
*Earl “The Pearl” Monroe, also known as “Black Jesus,” was a four-time NBA all-star, won a championship with the New York Knickerbockers in 1973, and scored 17,454 points, often in dazzling fashion (his “pearls”). He was inducted into the NBA hall of fame in 1990. He is now 78 years old. The “girl” with the pearl earring never played a minute in the NBA, and is now 358 1/2 years old.
Now back to making shit up.
THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL JAM RING-TONE
Hey, how about…
THE GIRL WITH THE SPANISH BULL RING
And, finally…
THE GIRL WITH WAGNER’S "THE RING CYCLE
WAIT, MAYBE THERE ARE MORE RINGS FOR THE PEARL GIRL?
Have your own “girl/ring” suggestion? Post them in the comments! I’m all ear(ring)s!
Best one wins immortality in this substack, and I’ll send you the original drawing!
Or, if you prefer, complain directly to the Mauritshuis Gallery. Everybody else is.
How about our Vermeer gal with Lily Tomlin's Telephone Operator persona? Recall, ( no pun intended), Tomlin plugging in at her switchboard, "One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy...", all while snorting and fiddling down her blouse. Priceless...sort of like this Vermeer!
I can't think of any rings apart from a rubber ring used as a swimming aid, or a ring doughnut (but you just call those 'donuts' over there) - and I'm not sure I can imagine her as either a swimmer or a snacker, anyway?
How good is she at orientee-ring? Better than I am, I hope...!
The girl with the Pearl Ring Tone on her phone. A real gem 😉
The girl with the magic mushroom ring... nice chance to use psychedelic colours. :)
How about our Vermeer gal with Lily Tomlin's Telephone Operator persona? Recall, ( no pun intended), Tomlin plugging in at her switchboard, "One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy...", all while snorting and fiddling down her blouse. Priceless...sort of like this Vermeer!
What about the girl with the man who has a Prince Albert ring through his ding-a-ling?
Love this piece! Nice to tweak the out-of-joint noses the art mavens are looking down, and how about the girl with the three-ring circus?
Hilarious take on my favorite Vermeer painting. I have a print on my wall! Love these!!! I think the museum is Mauritshuis. It's in Den Hag.
This is such a hoot, Peter! Loved it!
I can't think of any rings apart from a rubber ring used as a swimming aid, or a ring doughnut (but you just call those 'donuts' over there) - and I'm not sure I can imagine her as either a swimmer or a snacker, anyway?
How good is she at orientee-ring? Better than I am, I hope...!
Very clever! We'll never look at her the same. BTW, my granddaughter could be a model for this painting. Striking resemblance .