18 Comments
User's avatar
Matthew Gray's avatar

Out here in Hawaii, the only things tracking me are geckos and the pizza guy.

Ann's avatar

I watch so many British mysteries, CCTV is usually what helps the police solve their case. The intrusion seems normal to me. But, I know Americans like their privacy and independence. BTW, how do the elk get their antlers in the car?

Peter Moore's avatar

They simply unscrew them. You knew they could do that, right?

Ann's avatar

Certainly off camera!

Wendy Hawkes's avatar

My EZ solution...leave. They barely have traffic lights in lots of SE Asia, let alone traffic cams, et al. I felt way safer in the "communist" country I visited than I would in my home nation. 2026 = opposite day year.

Peter Moore's avatar

Ah yes. Move to Vietnam. Why didn’t I think of that solution? Maybe I should speak my wife about it first, before I go on Zillow/Hanoi. ….

Wendy Hawkes's avatar

I mean, you could stay there for a while...shift left to Thailand for a couple of months...harder to hit a moving target, right?

Peter Moore's avatar

Ha. You are so full of good advice! I visit Asia through the NYT cooking app, which is never short of suggestions for dandan noodles. That may be as close as I get!

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

My favorite: Elk migration! Do they accidentally run over humans?

If the FBI ever investigates me, they better consume a lot of caffeine - I'm perfectly happy with it, but most people would find my life to be pretty damn boring. And IMHO, boring is good!

Peter Moore's avatar

That’s the ticket. Be boring in all things, and then when you make your big push to rob a bank in your neighborhood you’ll be the last person the cops suspect.

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Shush! You're giving away my master plan! But not the bank, that's small potatoes. I got my eye on the local Dunkin' Donuts... the iced chocolate Munchkins are to die for. My bear and raccoon posse are ready to go!

Peter Moore's avatar

Whimsy r’ Us.

Peter Moore's avatar

Wait a sec. You’re gonna knock over the Dunkin? I’m so there for that. Need an accomplice?

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

If you want in, you gotta remember that the bruins get first dibs on the jelly donuts - they're bigger than we are and have sharper teeth!

Peter Moore's avatar

They can have ‘em, as long as I get a crack at the chocolate glazed. And I have no interest in Bavarian Cream anything, fyi.

Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Chocolate glazed are my favorite, too, but I'm only five feet tall and have no interest in becoming five feet wide as well. So, sure, I'll share. The raccoons want the Bavarian Creams anyway, they're good for throwing at house fronts... the little fuzzy felons enjoy a bit of impromptu pastry graffiti now and then.