I've Always Wanted to Be a Data Point for Surveillance Cam
And on the roads of Colorado, I'm getting my wish. You, too? WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED by PETER MOORE, special to the COLORADO SUN
THE COLORADO SUN—our state’s hot-stuff news source—employs me to make fun of our mountain paradise. My most recent target was easy: The phalanx of unblinking eyeballs being unleashed on our citizenry by their elected leaders. What the hell? Since when has it been AOK for the government to track our whereabouts without a warrant? Since now, evidently. Thank goodness I can walk to my local marijuana dispensary, rather than drive there. Meanwhile, hug your local ACLU worker.
THE RIGHT TO PRIVACY is so 1984.
First it was 111 Flock cameras tracking our every drive. After howls of protest, the City of Denver canceled that contract, and adopted 50 Axon cameras instead. Which should make you feel especially safe, because Axon already supplies tasers (zap!) and police body-cams (smile!) to the city of Denver. The photo data was made available to our benevolent federal government, as well.
Said one Columbine Valley cop: “You know we have cameras in [Denver]. You can’t get a breath of fresh air in or out of that place without us knowing,”
Where are those cameras, exactly?
Find out at deflock.org. “Automated License Plate Readers,” the Deflock website informs us, “are AI-powered cameras that capture and analyze images of all passing vehicles, storing details like your car’s location, date and time. They also capture your car’s make, model, color, and identifying features such as dents, roof racks and bumper stickers, often turning these into searchable data points.”
I’ve always dreamed of being a searchable data point! It makes me feel so connected — to local police departments, the FBI, Homeland Security, ICE, and who knows, maybe the Fort Collins Library. I’ll return that overdue book soon, RoboLibrarian!
You may wonder what images they’re capturing. Through the Freedom of Information for Cartoonists Act, I uncovered candids of…
…that guy commuting back to Evergreen, on I-70. You never know if that drive will interfere with dinnertime, after all.
…the new elk migration up Trail Ridge Road.
…the early morning gathering of our law enforcement officials, before they chase down photo-felons.
…our elected state officials reporting for duty via Waymo. Hey, it looked like a passable route on Google Maps.
…Wyoming drivers, for whom the “winds of change” extend beyond surveillance. I wonder if they have Flock cams in Kansas, where they’ll land.
…new, high-tech training practices at Coors Field. The Rockies need that.
The next improvement: the “singularity”—when AI achieves consciousness. Once that happens, can android love be far behind? The cams tell us: It already has.
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”
― George Orwell, 1984
At the most recent Fort Collins “No Kings” rally, a drone was hovering over all ten thousand of us. Fortunately, I was wearing a broad-brimmed hat. How are you managing your place in the new police state?
If you’re afraid to ‘fess up, I understand. Maybe stop paying taxes, instead. You can divert the money to me, which would be great!
This works as drone protection, too.
All best to you, in troubling times. If you’re troubled, too, hit the whirlygig below, to restack our worries.
Many thanks.
Out here in Hawaii, the only things tracking me are geckos and the pizza guy.
I watch so many British mysteries, CCTV is usually what helps the police solve their case. The intrusion seems normal to me. But, I know Americans like their privacy and independence. BTW, how do the elk get their antlers in the car?