We finally know who (or what?) a "person" is!

Thanks for that, Alabama Supreme court! Now, would you please babysit my sperm tonight? I'll be otherwise occupied. WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED by PETER MOORE

THE NINE JUSTICES ON THE ALABAMA SUPREME COURT—just call ‘em Jay, Will, Brady, Tommy, two Gregs, and (go figure) Sarah—voted unanimously that a frozen embryo is a human being, which makes a lot of sense. Many of my best friends are frozen embryos!

I didn’t always support the personhood of iced reproductive bits. But my life changed when I saw this video, by the embryologists who created Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.

The life-defining song is called: “Every Sperm is Sacred.”

I especially like the part where the vicars pop up in the baby carriages (2:45)!

Following that logic, and the splendid ruling set forth by Jay, Will, Brady, Tommy, two Gregs, and (go figure) Sarah, I have crafted explanatory drawings that settle the matter once and for all:

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Got that?

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate!

—Monty Python’s Flying Reproductive Institute

If you’re enjoying what I do here, please share it with a frozen embryo. And make sure their cryogenic chamber is securely plugged in.

Touch any of the buttons below, and you’ll touch my heart.