ReWindsDay: The Girl with A Pearl Nose Ring

The Maritshuis Museum in Amsterdam has invited artists to reinterpret Vermeer's classic "Girl with a Pearl Earring." They didn't have to ask me twice. WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED BY PETER MOORE

My calling as an artist seems to be to corrupt iconic artwork for my own (and your) amusement.

So I was delighted to see that Johannes Vermeer’s home museum in Holland has once again invited artists to lampoon one of the most famous paintings in the history of girls. And earrings. So it gives me an excuse to revisit my post “Girl with a Pearl Nose Ring,” which isn’t as famous, but has been making me laugh since 2023.

You, too?

Post your outrage in the comments! Everybody else is!

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IF YOU’RE ANY KIND OF ART NERD, you’re aware of the brouhaha stirred up by the Mauritshuis Gallery in The Hague, after it loaned out Johannes Vermeer’s “The Girl with a Pearl Earring.” Forget for the moment that she traveled only about thirty miles to join the big Vermeer blowout at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

Ciao, bella!

People were outraged—OUTRAGED—when the Mauritshuis’ directors (who obviously have a sense of humor, unlike some people) encouraged artists to submit to an exhibition called “My Girl with a Pearl,” to vamp with the visual idea of “girl + pearl earring.”

Man with a pearl substack.

This is one girl—the whiners shrieked—who nobody is allowed to play with!

In solidarity with my fellow wiseass artists, I say: To hell with that!

And she does stoke the imagination.

I mean, why not…

THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL NOSE RING

OR, THE GIRL WITH EARL “THE PEARL” MONROE*

*Earl “The Pearl” Monroe, also known as “Black Jesus,” was a four-time NBA all-star, won a championship with the New York Knickerbockers in 1973, and scored 17,454 points, often in dazzling fashion (his “pearls”). He was inducted into the NBA hall of fame in 1990. He is now 78 years old. The “girl” with the pearl earring never played a minute in the NBA, and is now 358 1/2 years old.

Now back to making shit up.

THE GIRL WITH THE PEARL JAM RING-TONE

Hey, how about…

THE GIRL IN THE SPANISH BULL RING

Or, finally…

THE GIRL WITH WAGNER’S "THE RING CYCLE

WAIT, MAYBE THERE ARE MORE RINGS FOR THE PEARL GIRL?

Have your own “girl/ring” suggestion? Post them in the comments! I’m all ear(ring)s!

Best one wins immortality in this substack, and I’ll send you the original drawing!

Or, if you prefer, complain directly to the Mauritshuis Gallery. Everybody else is.

“By art alone we are able to get outside ourselves, to know what another sees of this universe which for him is not ours, the landscapes of which would remain as unknown to us as those of the moon.” —Johannes Vermeer

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Great to be with all 12,000 of you here on the Road2Elsewhere. And, Johannes Vermeer.