42 Miserable Things to Be Thankful For

Family, friends, health. Yada, yada, yada. But is your TY list as inclusive as it needs to be?

It’s that time of the year to throw open your arms and thank the universe for…

1. Weight gain. You’ve lost your car keys. You’ve lost your high-school friends. You’ve lost your virginity. But those extra twelve pounds? They’ll stick with you for life!

1. That super-annoying political figure you can’t stand. S/he’s the most effective get-out-the-vote lever imaginable.

2. The marshmallows on the sweet-potato casserole. A visual reminder that you hate sweet-potato casserole.

3. Turkey giblets. Compared with entrails, the sweet-potato casserole sounds pretty good.

4. Weeds. They define which plants you prefer, and why.

5. Weed smoke. Healing plants at their most pungent.