Olympic Sports for the Rest of Us

Higher, Faster, Stronger? Pass the Remote....WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED by PETER MOORE, special to THE COLORADO SUN

I’M A PROUD COLORADAN. I’m also a fraud, because I arrived here like a carpetbagger eight years ago, drawn by the mountains I could climb up and ski down, and thrilled by stolen valor from my adventurous fellow citizens. Which is why I pitched the Colorado Sun—our stalwart online news source—on allowing me to lampoon my adoptive home state and its citizens on a regular basis. If you can’t actually join ‘em—I was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut!—at least you can make fun of ‘em. Which I did in my latest column for the Sun, making note of the dozens of Coloradans who are finishing up their runs for gold.

Unlike the rest of us.

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I’VE TAKEN VICARIOUS PRIDE in the thirty-something Winter Olympians who hail from Colorado. Just like me! Except, I wasn’t born here. And I’ve been expressing that pride mostly from the couch, in front of my TV set.

So no, I can’t soar in slopestyle like Silverthorn’s Red Girard or push a bobsled like Fort Collins’ Hunter Powell. You probably can’t either, otherwise you’d be competing in Italy, rather than hanging out in your living room, like me and six million other Coloradans.

But let’s not sports-shame each other, no matter what our awesome neighbors are doing. We too have skills worth celebrating, just like the exemplary, but also ordinary, Coloradans featured below.

CHILL-STYLE

HYGGE-CEPTIONAL

LORDS OF THE RINGS

RECIPE FOR SUCCESS

I-70 SPEEDSTER

JUST TEASIN’

A NEW WRINKLE

Here’s some exciting news! Mostly exciting for me, but what the hell, I’ll tell you too: Since the end of November I’ve doubled my number of paid subscribers. A lot of you read my post “The Season of Farewell,” in the Oldster Magazine and signed up for paid subscriptions here.

Hooray! And thank you.

Now I’m a mere fifteen paid subscriptions away from becoming a “Substack Notable Publication,” which will bring untold benefits to my life, to the global climate, and to the arc of history, which bends toward the Road2Elsewhere. To help that along, I’m offering a 20% discount for annual subscribers. That’s a mere $40 for a whole year of 100 new posts.

Wait a minute. Do I really do this for four cents per person per post?

Before I make a much-needed career change, please click the link, cough up your credit card info, and you will have personally helped this starving artist.

Bon appetite!