How Should I Fly My American Flag, Now?
In which I take Our Dear Leader's proclamation to heart. WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED by PETER MOORE
WHENEVER I SEE Donald Trump’s signature, I grow anxious.
To understand my reaction better, I put his warlock scrawl through a handwriting analysis program:
It helped me make sense of his latest proclamation, about penalties for desecrating the flag. But only if said desecration is combined with the violation of another federal statute. So: Pissing on flag, burning it, and running it over with a lawnmower are OK. But if you use a flag to conk a greedy lawless degenerate (can you think of one?), it’s punishable to the maximum extent allowed by the Constitution.
As if anybody pays attention to that inconvenient piece of parchment, anymore!
The whole brouhaha touched off a bit of artistic introspection on my part, considering what we citizens can and can’t do with Old Glory right now. I looked for inspiration from those heroic employees at Yosemite National Park, who mounted our flag upside down next to the iconic Golden Firefall, to protest mass firings of park employees.
It immediately brought to mind another legendary golden shower that may or may not have been videotaped by Kremlin operatives.
This will give you the idea.
I began researching iconic flag images, for further guidance.
The recent news of the occupation of Washington, D. C., by federal troops, in the name of law and order, also came to mind. I mean, whose lawlessness and disorder were they after? Citizens? Not their leaders?
And if we’re trying to corral people with a blatant disregard for legal norms and precedents, I can think of six.
Five miles west of the Supreme Court is the Iwo Jima monument. A drive, a three iron, a chip, and you’re there.
Based on all of this, I’ve adapted how I display the flag, in front of my house.
I’ll untie it when the rights of citizens, of human beings, and who knows, maybe even women, are respected, and restored.
Betsy Ross is taking this pretty hard, by the way.
This is one way to clear a house of troublemakers.
And at least the flag is right-side up.
“I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself.”
― Oscar Wilde
Whew! Glad to get all that off my chest. I’ll be back next Saturday with something much less meaningful, I promise.
Great piece, Peter. You should forward it to the White House if you don't fear retribution. I wish that famed residence could be turned upside down to empty its wretched occupants!
As a Canadian with admittedly less skin in the game I am still ready to see the fat backside of DT now. This Orange Buffoon and his sycophants are destroying your country's standing in the world. Should he see success in the mid terms in 2026 that probably means the end of the U.S.A. as we used to know it. And I would say that the odds of Trump achieving that success are about 50/50. I hope that I am wrong about this!!