Driving under the influence of hilarity
The Feds are cracking down on road signs that crack us up. And I'm ready to help. WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED by PETER MOORE
THE FEDERAL HIGHWAY COMMISSION has released a 1,100-page manual to guide road-sign deployment in the United States.
Your tax dollars at work!
The breaking news: They’re banning road signs with jokes on them, on the grounds that they’re confusing and distracting for drives.
The Feds never could take a joke. At least the victims are dying laughing!
Here’s the problem, according to the Associated Press: “States around the country have used quirky messaging to draw the attention of drivers. Among them: ‘Use Yah Blinkah’ in Massachusetts; ‘Visiting in-laws? Slow down, get there late,’ from Ohio; ‘Don’t drive Star Spangled Hammered,’ from Pennsylvania; ‘Hocus pocus, drive with focus’ from New Jersey; and ‘Hands on the wheel, not your meal’ from Arizona.”
Humor is hazardous!
Now is the time for cartoonists to rally to the aid of our country and its distracted drivers. As a public service, I have crafted these super-serious road signs. Please do not read this substack while driving.
Touch any of the buttons below, and you’ll also touch my heart.
What a great way to start the day! A real laugh out loud moment. Thanks!
Oh my goodness, "Text while driving if you want to meet him." Best sign ever!
On NH highways (probably elsewhere, too), they have these big electronic solar signs that flash messages about weather conditions and such - I do not like these signs! The messages are usually too long for one panel, so they flash the first part, blink, and flash the next part, repeat. These things are distracting as all heck! "Slow down. It's snowing out" is not a message to die for.... I'll stop crabbing, now.... Though your "Watch the road!" sign reminds me of an old anti-texting bumper sticker from NPR's Care Talk: "Shut up and drive." Thanks for the fun and a chance to air one of my pet peeves.