Road2Elsewhere by Peter Moore

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Do You Have What It Takes to Work at Casa Bonita?

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Do You Have What It Takes to Work at Casa Bonita?

South Park's Matt Stone and Trey Parker are hiring. WRITTEN AND ILLUSTRATED BY PETER MOORE

Feb 21, 2023
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In Sunday’s column for the Colorado Sun, I took a look at the latest project by the South Park creators. For years, they had their abrasive cast of devil-children make fun of a Colorado culinary institution named Casa Bonita, and then they bought the place after it failed during the pandemic. Now they’re hiring, in anticipation of a spring re-opening. Tired of quiet quitting? Maybe it’s time for you to loudly apply for a new job, in Lakewood, Colorado.


COLORADO GOVERNOR JARED POLIS and Executive Chef Dana “Loca” Rodriguez announced last week that 550 new jobs were on offer at Lakewood's revived and renovated Casa Bonita. Want to work there? We lifted these job qualifications verbatim from the Casa Bonita website, under listings for “Entertainer (Dry)” and “Entertainer (Wet).” Applicants please note: Your prospective boss admits to the nickname “Loca,” and Casa Bonita’s new owners—South Park’s Matt Stone and Trey Parker—made the restaurant the focus of a juvenile kidnapping in season seven, episode 11. 

But if you love what you do, is it really work?

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Interviews in March, training in April, face Cartman and his hungry little pals in May! 

Job requirements include:

  • “Immersive and improv performances to prescribed tracks.”

Comedian in chicken suit entertains at Casa Bonita.
  • “Puppeteering”

HR puppeteer at Casa Bonita.
  • “Staged stunts, 

Acrobatic waiter at Casa Bonita.

staged romance [#metoo #ick], 

Waiters in "love" at Casa Bonita.

or choreographed combat 

Waiters duke it out at Casa Bonita.

including jumping in pool from up to 16 feet.”

Cliff-diving server at Casa Bonita.
  • “Must be able to balance on one foot and hold arms above your head.”

    Strange job requirements at Casa Bonita.

Help me develop works skills like these!

  • “Many of the skits require running around the stage or climbing on the rocks. It may include stooping, kneeling, crouching, crawling, or climbing on the rocks around the pool.” 

Cliff climbing waiters at Casa Bonita
  • “Able to deal with potentially impatient or unpleasant guests who may have been in line for hours.”

South Park kids wait in line at Casa Bonita.
  • “Must have a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at the absurdities of life.”

Casa Bonita employee laughs at his paycheck.

Click here to apply! 

Help Matt and Trey recruit workers for Casa Bonita!

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For bonus hilarity that wouldn’t fit in this ‘stack (there’s a size limit—what the hell?), click here.

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3 Comments
Ann
Feb 21Liked by Peter Moore

Oh my! Is the food any good or do people go just for the entertainment?

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